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MY JOURNEY TO THE PHILIPPINES
On September 30, 2003 I met John Ray. It was on my first full day in Manila. I was still a bit in a fog from the long trip, the time difference, and the smog of Manila. John is one of 30 children under 4 years old being cared for at the first child caring agency that we visited. John is about 6 or 7 months old and, like the meaning of his names, he is a “God given counselor.” I first saw him in his crib and he had those eyes that flirted with me. His eyes caught mine and they seemed to see right into my soul, making it impossible for me to walk past his crib without stopping to talk. And when I spoke he answered back with coos and a smile – encouraging me to dig a little deeper (as any good counselor would). He made it impossible for me to walk on without touching him. Within seconds he was in my arms and melting into my bosom like only babies can. He was soaking up that human contact, occasionally looking up into my eyes and making sure that I wouldn’t be walking away from him anytime too soon. With eyelids nearly closed, he would lift up his head, peek into my eyes, and give a little smile – as though he was in a place somewhere between earth and heaven. (He took snuggling to a higher plane and he captured my heart.)
This little one showed me again how quickly and easily I can fall in love. John Ray is a precious, priceless work of art created by God – and he waits to find a family where he will be treasured – as do thousands of others just like him at this very moment. If only the process brought children and parents together like this experience brought me together with John Ray. John is lucky. He is young and will find a family easily through the home where he currently lives. The process is filled with paperwork, as he patiently waits. I met the next two children on that very same day. (I find myself wondering if there is a secret sign on my forehead that only children see. Who in the world could possibly open themselves up to falling in love again so quickly?) Alderon and Mika are 8 and 11 year old siblings. They live together in a home that cares for approximately 30 children. Whether it was neglect, abuse, or simply severe poverty, all of the children in this facility have lost their families and homes. Homelessness probably snuck up on them. When their first families became unable to care; they were likely left to extended family members or to neighbors to be cared for “temporarily”. The family probably had hope that they would find a job and improve their lives but it never happened.
Alderon and Mika are two of several children sponsored through Lutheran Social Services. They knew that their sponsors (Cuya Michael and Tito Ed) sent a letter, photos and gifts for us to present to them. And they were excited to receive the gifts – although somewhat shy at being with so many adults at one time. We spent about 2 hours here and in each of my photos and in every memory that I have of that visit they are together, side by side. It makes me wonder if Alderon (“wise leader”) and Mika (“God’s child”) are really living up to their names. They have managed to get through it together; and, like thousands of children their ages, are living without parents, but having memories and hopes for a family to call their own.
On my last stop of the day I saw an “Angel” for less than 2 minutes. I cannot tell you much about her – except that she had black hair and dark chocolate eyes and she was missing her two front teeth. After a brief introduction by Sister there was a brief exchange between Sister and Angel in Tagalog. Sister gave her a gentle hug and told her to have a good day at school. Then she turned to me to tell me what Angel (“my heavenly Messenger”) had asked her:
There is nothing simple or light about that angel’s message. I hear it each day and find myself asking this: “How Lord? Show me the Way.” I know that you didn’t see this Angel, but please believe me – she has faith in you to help her find a mommy and a daddy. |
Not sure what you can do for children like these? Have you thought about adoption? Have you considered sponsoring a child? Call 1-800-488-5181 for more information about either of these options.
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Once every year for the last 10 years, I have the opportunity and privilege to travel to the Philippines on behalf of Lutheran Social Services of Wisconsin and Upper Michigan. Over the years I have met many children, and caring adults working on behalf of them. In October of 2003, David Larson (President and CEO of LSS of WI) and his wife, Judy, Liz Schaefer (Director of Adoption Services), and Ted Hakala (my husband and a regional Vice President of LSS of WI) joined me in my travels. Below is an excerpt from my journal of the trip.
John Ray, is one of 30 here in this home, but one of thousands in the Philippines and one of hundreds of thousands of children world-wide in need of a snuggle and deserving of arms that will hold them until they fall asleep; arms that will also be there when they awaken, and arms that will reach out to kiss away their hurts; and, arms that will be there for them always. 
Most of the children in this home have relied upon the kindness of strangers; and have known the experience of going to bed hungry all too well. It has taken a minor miracle to have Alderon and Mika stay together. For Alderon and Mika, it is apparent that the challenges that they have faced have brought them closer together. The history that I was given about them is pretty sketchy. 
Like so many children their age, the only barrier to finding a family is their age. Somehow we adults have assumed that being school-aged presents problems, and somehow they are damaged by not having found a family sooner in life. Older children around the world don’t stop praying and hoping that they will get parents and find a home. They continue to have faith that they will have their prayers for a family answered. 
“Is this the lady who will find me a mommy and daddy?”|
Affording Adoption
Comparing costs and fees from various websites and agencies can be very confusing, if not frustrating, as not everyone uses the same “language” to talk about adoption costs. LAN purposely does not disclose adoption fees on this site. However, when you contact us or one of our member agencies, you will be given detailed information about all the fees and expenses you should expect in a specific country. As a guideline, however, most international adoptions with LAN range between $15,000 and $30,000 in total costs. Factors which contribute to the variation in costs include:
Adoption fees include both local agency costs and the international agency and program fees. Examples of local agency costs are the homestudy, training and/or dossier coordination, and postplacement visits and reports. International program fees, the highest of all, include support to the orphanages and humanitarian aid to the children left behind, as well as salaries and compensation for the people who work on behalf of the children before they are adopted, both overseas and here at home. Yes, it is expensive! But families all over the United States are adopting more children than ever before. There are resources which can help you afford adoption! Best of all is the 2010 US Federal Tax Credit of $13,170 for either domestic or international adoption. (See Publication 968 of the Internal Revenue Service—http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html—for more detail). Some states also offer tax benefits, as do many employers. Check www.adopt.org/workplace for details on employer benefits. Check these resources for more information about affording an adoption:
Chase Bank and the Dave Thomas Foundation offer a home equity loan program specifically for adoptive families now: |
We hear it all the time when prospective parents contact us to learn more about international adoption:
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LAN: A Lutheran Adoption & Foster Care Alliance |  |