“Full House, Full Hearts”
By Jonathan Stahlke as told to Susan Myers, Lutheran Adoption Network Director

My wife, Mary, and I adopted five children from Ukraine just one year ago with the help of the Lutheran Adoption Network.

At the beginning of our journey, we were wrestling with what country to adopt from and so many of the questions that adoptive parents face. After much prayer, reflection, and counseling, we decided to request a group of five children from Ukraine. Mary felt an extremely strong draw to Ukraine and a desire for a mixed gender family as young as possible. I had the strong sense that we were to adopt a group of five children. In both cases, we felt God was calling us to do what we did.
Many agencies were either discouraging or unwilling to help us in this venture. Lutheran Social Services of Illinois and of New England, however, were willing to address the issue.

Our Illinois case worker, Wendy Ince, was thorough in her investigation into whether we knew what we were doing. She recommended PRIDE training, confirmed that we had read widely about adopting internationally, had experience with children, and had a network of support locally to get our future family off to a good start. Wendy worked with Darlene Lundy, program coordinator at LSS-NE in Connecticut, who was in regular contact with the facilitator in Ukraine.

This good communication meant that all of the necessary documentation was in order before we traveled, and allowed us to leave on only 10 days notice. On the advice of others who had adopted from Ukraine, we were licensed for the maximum number of children in our home. We went with permission to adopt a sibling group of up to six children. The Lutheran Adoption Network allowed all of this transglobal and transcontinental communication to happen in a smooth and timely manner. We spent over a month in Ukraine, and found “the perfect match” in three boys and two girls, ranging in age from 11 to 6, living in an orphanage in Kirovograd.

Amazingly, we have since learned that they have a younger sibling who was not available when we were in Ukraine, but who has recently been placed for adoption, so we are once again dependent on how well our Lutheran Adoption Network agencies are able to cooperate and shepherd us through one more time-sensitive situation.

Thank you for building a structure that would allow Paul Ruslan, Adam Bogdan, Rachel Ludmila, Sarah Olena, and David Mihailo to come into our lives with such force and passion. We have been blessed by post-placement counseling and support and the Lutheran Adoption Network framework through which we are able to consider reuniting these children with their last (and youngest) sibling, Mikola. We love to share our story, and are open to conversation about any topic relating to our amazing experience.


The Stahlkes are members of Trinity Lutheran Church in Villa Park, Illinois, where Mary is the Music Director. Jonathan is a professor of music at Concordia University Chicago. Although there have been challenges involved in growing from a family of two to seven in little over a month, they have weathered the initial adjustment and emerged strong and united. The children are thriving and have been speaking only English at home since the summer of 2006. Now ages 12, 11, 10, 8 and 7, they attend Ukrainian school in Chicago on the weekends to help preserve their cultural heritage. They also go to Sunday School, and participate in music lessons, sports and typical family activities.

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Affording Adoption

We hear it all the time when prospective parents contact us to learn more about international adoption:
  “It’s so expensive!”
  “Why does it cost anything at all to adopt?”
  “How can I afford it?”

Comparing costs and fees from various websites and agencies can be very confusing, if not frustrating, as not everyone uses the same “language” to talk about adoption costs.

LAN purposely does not disclose adoption fees on this site. However, when you contact us or one of our member agencies, you will be given detailed information about all the fees and expenses you should expect in a specific country. As a guideline, however, most international adoptions with LAN range between $15,000 and $30,000 in total costs. Factors which contribute to the variation in costs include:

• Country of origin
• Travel timing and number of persons
• Age of child

Adoption fees include both local agency costs and the international agency and program fees. Examples of local agency costs are the homestudy, training and/or dossier coordination, and postplacement visits and reports. International program fees, the highest of all, include support to the orphanages and humanitarian aid to the children left behind, as well as salaries and compensation for the people who work on behalf of the children before they are adopted, both overseas and here at home.

Yes, it is expensive! But families all over the United States are adopting more children than ever before. There are resources which can help you afford adoption! Best of all is the US Federal Tax Credit of $10,000 for either domestic or international adoption as long as your income is less than $150,000 per year. (See Publication 968 of the Internal Revenue Service—http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html—for more detail). Some states also offer tax benefits, as do many employers. Check www.adopt.org/workplace for details on employer benefits.

Check these resources for more information about affording an adoption:

LAN's Anticipated International Adoption Cost Worksheet

National Adoption Foundation
Shaohannah’s Foundation
A Child Waits

A new organization providing zero-interest adoption loans to help Christian families adopt is called "Family Legacies":

http://www.familylegacies.us

Chase Bank and the Dave Thomas Foundation offer a home equity loan program specifically for adoptive families now:

http://www.chase.com/NewAdditions

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